Tuesday, 28 March 2006 @ 10:11:00 pm
...sob, sob...
suki's kind of upset... cause she tinks she lost contact with dis particular fren... sob, sob... a fren she knew for at least 5 years... sob, sob... how can i ever find e way to contact him...?
we got know each other through a forum called sakura café (if I’m correct)… I was abt pri. 5 dat time, he was in year 8 or smthg like dat… we corresponded for a few mths and lost contact… we started to contact each other again when I started searching for him on e web search… yup, we succeeded in contactin each other… then also corresponded for a few mth, & finally… I lost ways on how to contact him… I’ve tried his real name, & nick, to no avail… wat I got was his web, which was already on hiatus for close to 1 year… to me, he is a nice person… I’ve told only abt him to some of my close frens… he mite b busy in uni now, who knows..? its jus dat I wan to recover back dis frenship… who you bear losing a fren whom you have known for close to 6 years..? you wouldn’t rite..? Though I’ve not meet him before, but I trust him to b a very nice person…
I wasn’t actually a person who likes goth/loli series… it was through him I got to know hyde, gackt… from then on, I have embarked my journey to e goth/loli world… I tink it was hyde dat a great impact on me… cause I felt dat he was kind of suave, though kind of girly looking… (I’m old, I cant remember much details…)
argh…!!! Tell me wat should I do!!! -,- I managed to get his email, but I’m not even sure whether is it working a not… maybe I shd try my luck… let me b lucky… a pity… I dun tink any locals know him… it’s goin to be a very long journey…
@ 9:36:00 pm
ahhh!!!!!
currently...listenin: Eternal Snow form Fullmoon Wo Sagashitefeelin: state of shock... 'X'wat's e heck with 'em? choosing me to be e beauty queen... huh... me as a gal...? wat e... mite as well ask me to do gay character rite..? much more challenging... *pictures me as beauty queen* i tink by then, e whole school collapse!!!! argh...!!!!!!!!! freakin sh*t... & its modern japan... *sigh* i guess they chose me bcos i can express myself well as a vain b*tch ba... *sigh* at most i'll act v b*tch lor... who can teach para..?poor thg... proj manager (guy) is e female lead... haha... so it's kind of purple feel nya... X3 cant wait to see how e proj goes...
Sunday, 26 March 2006 @ 9:41:00 pm
sob, sob...
suki's sad now... sgcafe's down at e moment nya... wat happenened!? -,- i wna e forum back nya~~~ but i guess i can only go up e net after super teen course... sad... sad... sad...
Tuesday, 21 March 2006 @ 7:58:00 pm
it's a very simple cg job ar... me cos-ing as sunao of sukisyo... X3 shiawase ne~
@ 7:56:00 pm
compilations...
18th march 2006 blog entry
Read the newspaper on Saturday(march 18, 2006)… Singapore Street Festival is back again! Hmm… actuli they have dis competition & showcase for young entertainers… I was tinkin of join dis competition, I guess I’ll sing from e sukisyo series… if I were to win dis comp. , I mite be able to compete overseas… mayb it’s jus a dream… a dream I mite never realise in dis lifetime… I mite be overcast by other better singers (got a feel dat J-Rock bands are joinin….) or better performances (rappers, belly dancers, etc…), cause I’ve got stage-fright~ -,- eep… & it’s after o level’s MT ar… where got e freakin time to prepare????!!!!!
Let’s assume I’ll be singing in SSF…
I’ll sing either one of e songs listed…
- I love you from Fullmoon wo Sagashite
- Kini naru aitsu from Card Captor Sakura
- Eternal snow from Fullmoon wo sagashite
- Place from sukisyo
- Fields of Hope from Gundam Seed Destiny
- Mizu no Akashi from Gundam Seed
- Love chronicle from Fullmoon wo sagashite
- Arigatou from card captor sakura
Funny… all my songs… almost all so… girly (not my style!!!!) … -,- but I tink I’m able to pull it off… e big fat prob is… I cant memorise lyrics at all~ not e whole song… onli some measly parts I can remember… die… die… die… wat to do!!! -,- hmm… I tink I’ll go check wat are e rules & regulations for e comp… e onli thg I have to do now is to, complete my ran costume by then…!!!! Freak… I got no wig… wtF… who can lend wig…?!!!!???
20th march
I wan my phone! I am willing to pay e bill throiugh my piggy bank! E prob is dat my mum tinks I’m addicted to my phone. Yes, I am, but do you know why..? cause I’m freeakin controlled in everythg & wat ever I do… I cant talk on e fone, I cant do dis, I cant do dat. Wat type of life am I leadin? Sh*tty & crappy life… dis fone belongs to me & me only… it’s a tool which I use to contact frens from outside school (do u tink I bother abt some of my classmates?!) they r ppl who I hv ,et from e forum & become fresn with… they are nice ppl, not otaku type (unlike dat particular smone). Esp one of em, whom I’ve known for almost closed to 2 yrs, when I first started cos-ing. Yup, she’s nice & kawaii at times… mokona-chan~ ppl from e forum dun reali hv my hse number, so how to contact?! Tired of givin out my house number when ppl dun bother to save/remember my number… it seems to make no different…
I often say dat my classmates are my frens, yes they are.. I only trust a few out of dis bunch… so wat if you’re my frens, it does give you any rights to treat me whatever u like… I ain’t no doll nor toy… I am a human… I have feelings… neither do I like fellow forum members to treat me like dis…
From my entries, minna-san would have seen wat type of a person I am, rite? To be frank, I cant reali express myself verbally ( my voice betrays my feelings), so itend to express my thots through writing. To me, mouth doesn’t necessarily equals to being able to express self-well.
I am now reading dis book ‘I can’t tell you’ by Hillary Frank. It’s abt dis guy who has a big gap for a mouth (like me), he defined himself as talking = trouble. Through writing, it is safer. I tink its kind of cool… ^_^ imagine you cant talk for e whole day, & you can only communicate through writing…
I am not like, who pisses ppl off in e forum, but I’m someone who kills silently…
I am not like her, tinking so highly of her artistic skill. But I’m smone who aces in different field…
21st march
today, my maths teacher’s not here. Heard dat she got lung infection. I dun reali like e way she teaches & her ‘giving-up’ attitude… kind of concerned abt her. Hmm… two periods free… wil start drawing Sunao/Ran baHX… XD Sunao rOx~~~ X3
kay.. I’ll be busy with judo comp first aid duty & sports heat 1 dis Thursday & Friday… gonna be quite trying ne… jus got to go revise my first aid notes… if not I’ll freak out easily… I’ll reali run around like a headless chicken ar…
@ 12:32:00 pm
nice tiara for cos-ing princess-series characters... nya... maybe for cagalli ne... NO!!! mus use it on my Sunao-chan~ X3 sukisyo rOX~now suki's web-shopping... looking at dolfies, GL stuff... X3
shinchirou bag~ nya~
@ 12:24:00 pm
i like dis boots too~ its jus so beautiful.... wear le, grow tall sia... haha.... anybody wan to sponsor suki dis pair of boots...? haha... X3
@ 12:21:00 pm
kawaii sho..? dis lolita dress... suki wan nya... its jus so kirei... but e onli thg is dat suki got e guts to wear dis ma...? hmmm.... dun noe ar... X3 i tink it would cost SGD120 ba... ar... stil got to save up for my cat & mouse ears nya... -,-
@ 11:48:00 am
what kind of bread am i?
What kind of bread are you? (with gorgeous bread pics ^_~)
You are a CROISSANT! "These French crescent-shaped rolls are made with puff pastry, so they're wonderfully rich and tender. They're great for dunking into coffee, or for making sandwiches."Your Attributes: (just for fun)Positive: light & easygoing Negative: decadent & addictive
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@ 11:44:00 am
whats my hearts greatest desire?
Whats your Hearts Greatest Desire? PLEASE VOTE!
Your Greatest Desire Is Love. You fear being alone and possibly losing the people you care about. Your probably lonely and searching for that one special someone to brighten your life forever. Some people may think of you as the hopless romantic but you have a great personality and your also a good friend. Your so compassionate and your constantly thinking about others feelings, sometimes even before your own. You dont like to pamper yourself, because you feel that when you treat yourself well your becoming the kind of person you hate. You dont like coming off as such a softy in front of people, but on the inside your not as hardcore. Your more and a lonely trapped butterfly, looking for the person to complete them.1 Wish- To meet your soul mateColors- Red Black PinkSong- Seasons of Love (Rent)Sooner or later youll meet the right person. To meet the right preson you must try to be more open and outgoing.
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@ 11:39:00 am
what do people remember me by?
What do people remember you by? (anime pics)
People remember you by you brillient....hair? You flowing locks with a radient shine will surely gain anyones attention, but remember often good things like hair can be ruined by using the strightener 1 too many times!
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@ 11:24:00 am
philosphy in suki's point of view...
It’s true at times, I’m timid… I would admit it, as it’s not smthg I should be ashamed of… it’s part of growing up… part of growing up, as we learn how to accept our conditions… we are handicapped in a way or the other, and I do not mean it physically… at times, we’re unable to accept ourselves for who we are, as we would tink we’re inferior against the others…
…this, I believe, is considered as human philosophy…
we can be understanding at times, sometimes we’re unable… sometimes we can express ourselves, others we’re not… life’s unfair, we say, but it’s not… life is fair in a way or two… do good to others, and others will be good to you… treat your enemy like how you treat your frens… be considerate to others, as somebody else wil be considerate to you…
…what goes up, wil come down. What goes round , wil come around too…
at times, I would be acting like a kid… others, I’m not… be fair to others, like how you would be to yourself… dun hurt other ppl, if u dun wan to b hurt in e end… always remember smiles r free… if it cost, I’ll burn e bill…
it never kills to be happy, as it affects ppl’s mood… though smone mite hv lectured you for not having good grades or yadda yadda thgs, you should stil carry a smile… no one owes you a living… onli you yourself…
never tink no1 is unable to understand you, cause u’re trying to say you’re unable to understand yourself…
dun be dumb, nv hurt yourself physically, it’s called self-abuse…
I’m being childish at times, ranting on bad points I dun like in some ppl… but, hey… I’m trying to make e DONKEY sense in here… I dun actually hv to waste my time to sit in front of e computer to type e entries, I could hv went to some forum to yadda, yadda e way through…
I appreciate some ppl in my life, who’ve made my life pleasant as ever… I’m very sorry, but as I did not name any ppl in my entries, neither wil I name e postive ppl in my life… but you know who you are… promise me, we’ll be frens forever…
Frens are easy to make, but a frenship to a higher level is even more difficult to do so… first you need to trust, you need to love, you need to care… it does not come cheap… but yet some ppl are taking ‘em for granted… are you trying to say, you dun need frens? Everybody need frens, ‘kay..?
I understand, I sound harsh in my dis particular entry, but it’s jus dat.. I’m getting tired of life… a life where ppl do not try to understand other ppl… is dis call mutual understanding? Is dere love and care among such relationship..? some mite disagree, saying dat time wil allow us to get to each other better… but listen to e ticking sound of e clock, seconds are going by, perhaps minutes…! It’s time dat’s not goin to return again… are you able to turn back e clock, or even stop e time? I f you can do dat, pls inform me, I’m willing to see wat I can undo from my past mistakes…
No one mite have realised, but I’ve done smthg dat no one mite have thot I would do… do u tink I would reveal here? I’m keeping thgs mum… nobody shall ever know… *smirk* not even in time to come…
Maybe I’m being too wilful in dis entry, tinking dat I could ‘brainwash’ everbody with my long-winded ‘speech’… hmm… let’s not put it as a brainwash, but a long, long lecture…
I’m someone who does not like ppl to challenge me… be it accidentally or intentionally, I dislike it… adults always say tink before you talk… mite as well, dun talk, rite? How bout we saying adults are not listening to us, why dun we listen to their views too? (yes, I’m also lecturing myself) tink from both perspective, and through e long run, we would see who’s rite… (I’m neither siding e adults nor e youngsters (7 yrs old to 21 yrs old)) sometimes, adults wrong, sometimes youngsters wrong… jus learn from wil b a good choice…
Use your ear to listen… there are hidden messages rotating in your life… though we, as youngsters, dislike being lectured and rattled on, stil gt to listen… for e adults… use your brain & heart to listen too… some of em’ r losing their hearing soon, despite being young…
We’re losing faith, aren’t we? Cause ppl dun understand us… why dun we use e same faith to understand others..? take e intiative…! We’re stil live & kicking!
Life’s goin to be different after dis entry is published… I guess so…
Qué te recuerda a mi?
life’s short... appreciate it... cause once you lose it... no one’s able to find e exact happiness again...
if this ‘lecture’ is boring, skip it…
if this ‘lecture’ here offends anyone, read it in another 2 years, it makes a difference…
if this ‘lecture’ is good, thank you… I’m jus wondering if I’ve knocked sm sense into other ppl’s brain…
@ 11:13:00 am
suki's... LACUS CLYNE..!? oh my... *faints*
Thursday, 16 March 2006 @ 9:23:00 pm
sh*t u, b*tch...
sh*t u... i noe you're stress cause at least half of your march holiday have been taken away by school work, how bout me!? cant' u see i'm being nice enuf to ask whether you're coming!? she cant make it, and i thot she had also contacted you... who do u tink i am, ya medium!? wan medium, go temple get one ar! huh... i have important year ahead, and i mite not be able to clear dis year, do you know dat!? i'm not like you, so clever and stuff like dat... can draw, can cos well, can even sing well... if anybody can recognise who i am talking about, good for you... cause i'll be hated for sure, but who cares...?
let me prove to you smthg... i'm not who you see, i'm someone you dun see... dun u dare try me, cause you'll never know what will come to you...
Monday, 13 March 2006 @ 2:09:00 pm
...wanted...
I wanted to give you happiness
You rejected
I wanted to give you hope
You rejected
I wanted to give you love
You rejected
What should I offer than?
My soul, my mind…?
Or…?
You wanted others to be happy
How ‘bout me?
You wanted others to have hope
How ‘bout me?
You wanted others to have love
How ‘bout me?
What can you offer than?
Your soul, your mind…?
Or…?
I’ll work my way through
Will you find it?
Will you appreciate me?
Will you love me?
…it’s too late…
@ 8:51:00 pm
monday blues' rattles...
7th March 2006
hmm… today’s a Monday… Gotta happy… if not it’ll turn into Monday blues! -,-
now stil struggling with my Lacus Clyne costume… cause I dun how to do e top ar… but I completed the gloves & skirt last Monday… kind of easy to do ma… I’m thinking of sending to a particular tailor to do… but see first ba… cause it’s just the collar area, which is e biggest problem now… I wanna make the collar stand out like how it stands in the GS series… now I’m thinking of doing Sunao’s school pants… because I dun wan every time cos Sunao, must wear my jeans, but I dun wan… Sunao’s pant’s is black de… I tink can hand sew ar… haha… now v stingy wor… haha… hmm… Sukisyo team stil on wor… X3 can’t wait…
YAOI BANZAI!
SukiSyo Namelist…
Sunao Fujimori / Ran - Suki
Sora Hashiba / Yoru - EVA
Matsuri Honjyou - sh90
Nanami -
Shinchirou / Minato Shinchirou -
Soushi Asaka -
Nagase Kai -
Ishikawa Gaku -
Sakura Hiromu –
Chris - Kumi
Prof. Aizawa –
do join our SukiSyo team! XD
I wanna do Eriol’s Cheshire Neko!!! Nya~ X3 it’s soooooo neko-bishie~ hai… suki hyper le… haha… Ran’s so like me~~~~ X3 a pity, suki got no red eyes ar… must keep my hair like Sunao le… got to cut grass on my hair sia… (teacher say my top grass-like hair, reminds her of a pineapple… pineapple givin pineapple tart, stupid ar… damn it sia…)
YES!!! My son owes me 2 books of manga, and I’ve asked for 2 books of LOVELESS manga!!!! Nya!!! X3 but she say it’s for my Birthday present… hmmm…. Mochiron! No prob! X3 she’s a lovely gal ar…
My birthday I wan costumes!!!! Like Nagisa’s battle costumes from the series Pretty Cure! Kawaii nya~ costumes or anime related stuff would be the best… X3 maybe a kawaii green Haro… haha… good for my Lacus costume wor…
Hmm… I’m thinkg of doing Cosplay props and sell em during Cosplay events… got one on my mind, which I think would appeal to Haro lovers… got inspired from a school mate… hehe… $$$-minded ar… X3 moneeeeeeyyyyyyy~~~~~~
I wanna go for e audition for KHK~~~ but I missed it!!! -,- I would sing ‘Just A Survivor’ from Suki Na Mono Wa Suki Dakara Ga Syouganai a.k.a. SukiSyo!!! I just love SukiSyo a lot!!!! X3 though it’s a Yaoi game/anime, but it’s e love between Sunao & Sora that captivates me nya…! X3
SukiSyo Banzai!
I never like people who think too little of themselves… it’s very demoralising, to see someone older than you, so glum & sad, sometimes makes me feel like whacking dat person, telling dat person to shake out of it… life’s not meant to be spent like this… we’re suppose to spend our lives meaningfully, to live each day w/o regrets… though you mite regret making a wrong decision, but it will & shall lead to somethg good… I promise… X3 life’s fair, in a way or two… XD
Wa she… I type so much thgs… wat e fishy fish…
@ 8:48:00 pm
5th March 2006
f*cking bastard…
You took me for a fool eh? You thought that I was someone you can lie to!? Let me tell you one thing, I’M NOT THAT VULNERABLE! Yes, I admit, I was smitten to you at first sight (I’m not afraid of admitting), you’re a guy who knows your way with the ladies (so I was one of them eh!?) you bloody bastard, you deserve no sympathy or pity from me! Don’t you dare to contest my patience or my temper; I’m not someone fun to trifle with. Don’t make me expose what type of shit you have said; no one would trust neither us (and I dun give a f*cking care). You told me no nothing on you being sick (you think I’m psychic huh!?).
I think you’re sick to the brain.
- You’re an OTAKU, blurring the line between reality & fantasy
- You’re spiritually sensitive
- You’re a sweet talker, knowing how handle the ladies
You’re losing yourself to something only you can unforeseen. You have a Jekyll & Hyde personality. Do you need a psychiatrist at IMH? My onii-chan’s dad work there, I guess there’s discount for you…
I wished I’ve never known you at all. It’s been a huge & terrible mistake I’ve ever made, being a friend of yours, cause I feel that the more I get to know you, you’re losing more of your soul. It’s very obvious, that you’re losing it bit by bit. I just don’t know how to stop you from doing so. Tell me, what should I do? Leave you there to rot & die? What happened to me being one of your acknowledged friends? Down the drain? I bet you’ll say, you can’t stop people from hating you, cause you’re born like this! (BULLSHIT!)
Otou-san told me to have nothing to do with you, yet I’ve ignored his advice. I should have done that. He was there when Suki needed someone, unlike you, disappeared into thin air.
Institute of Mental Health: 638504011
Saturday, 4 March 2006 @ 7:04:00 pm
is it love...?
is it love dat i'm feeling now...? for him... he rejected me, telling me crap... am i not worth being love at all...? i'm a human, not something dat he tinks i m... i want him to like me for who i am...
@ 6:21:00 pm
channel u~
yesterday, suki was watching channel u wor... e guys were so pretty nya~ X3 there was a particular guy who was so loli dat i felt like running to tw to kidnap him... he kind of had a pair of puppy-dog eyes... kawaii so... nya... *faints*
Wednesday, 1 March 2006 @ 8:46:00 pm
1st entry~
my first entry!!! suki's eating in front of e PC ar... wat e... X3hmmm.... let me make dis my permanent blog, 'kay...?
suki.luna/jaws/AMELIA
suki's setting up a sukisyo team, maybe for 2007 nya... cause by dat time, o levels finish le... so can cos until xiao, nobody bother lor... haha... sunao-chan~ X3 my team (at emoment) consist of me, EVA-kun, sh90-chan & kumi-chan nya~~~ X3 now i'm trying to do Ran's costume too... jus hope it'll turn out well... -,- almost all hand-sew ar... no machine... *sob, sob* 
