listening: cancer - my chemical romance
mood: sad. why am i listening to such songs... >,<

...Turn away,
If you could get me a drink
Of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded
Call my aunt Marie
Help her gather all my things
And bury me in all my favorite colors,
My sisters and my brothers, still,
I will not kiss you,
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you...

sheesh.. i'll get depress again... why am i listening to such songs...? imagined ur love ones are going through cancer yet you're unable to do anything, as you watch them groan in pain, feeling so helpless eh...?

well. my paternal grandfather has cancer now. lung cancer to be exact. it has been 8 years since i've seen him, due to my parents' divorce. my mum, sis and i went to visit my grandfather at my uncle johnny's place last thursday. he was bedridden, looking all-so srawny on the bed, he seems to have shrank till such a size. i've seriously forgotten how my relatives look like too, though i have a photographic memory. gosh. even my lil' cousin grown up already, and she's now a young women!

...Now turn away,
'Cause I'm awful just to see
'Cause all my hairs abandoned all my body,
Oh, my agony,
Know that I will never marry,
Baby, I'm just soggy from the chemo
But counting down the days to go
It just ain't living
And I just hope you know...

it hurts to see your lurve ones going through paion alone, doesn't it hurt everyone...? gawd.

when i die, i'll want no one that i know to cry. no, you cannot cry, for it hurts for me too. i sound pesimistic, but to tell you the truth, i don't really know when will i die. might be now, a few hours later, a few days later, a few years alter, a few decades later.

gawd.

...That if you say (if you say)
Goodbye today (goodbye today)
I'd ask you to be true (cause I'd ask you to be true)

'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you
'Cause the hardest part of this is leaving you...