Friday, 7 August 2009 @ 8:45:00 pm
saying what it hurts the most
There might be people reading this, there might not be either.
but i would still like to pen down my thoughts and my feelings.
---
dear everyone
from my past few entries, some might know i have been on an emotional roller coaster ride for quite a while.
this is how i am exactly feeling now.
depress. unmotivated. unhappy.
there are times i am just afraid, too afraid to say, too afraid to feel, too afraid to ask for a hug.
1*
i met my grandma last Saturday, after material shopping with dmsasaki and rish. i was told that my grandma slipped and fell last Tuesday, bruising her knee and her arm.
She saw me and asked if i knew what had happened over the week. and i lied to her, i didn't know what went on (partly true, as my mum only informed me the day before, which is a Friday).
she explained, what had happened. and cheekily mentioned she might go anytime, seeing it as a sign/clue.
i replied back, "Ah Ma, me too." She look back, probably surprised that i would say such thing, esp. my image to her was a cheeky monkey who does childish stuff.
2*
i don't want to be left alone. i am scared, like anyone else, though it might look as if i don't care.
during my birthday, people i expected to drop me an sms to wish me a happy birthday, did not do so. how disappointing.
that's why i said i was crying all day long.
all i wanted was someone to take me away just for one day on my brithday, just one day, was it so hard?
3*
work. sucks. for. now.
my colleague left, without proper handover being done. i had to clean up her mess, and i hate it. people here are just revealing their trueself over the time.
politics.
taichi.
backstabbing.
it ain't fun, i would say. IT jsut riles you up, making you p*ssed because people don't seem to see that they are being an a**hole. (or maybe they knew what type of a person they are already.)
4*
my smses, half the time, are being ignored by people whom i need answers from.
if this is what you want to do, i can't say/comment much either.
---
for this post, this concludes my feelings i have been harbouring all this while.
i still thank those who had shown concerned, be it via tagboards, sms or meet-ups.
many thanks in advance
yours sincerely
the girl who couldn't see
Amelia Ang/suki.luna/JAWS*
Labels: 2009, feelings, life, not looking, truth
suki.luna/jaws/AMELIA
