listening: big girls don't cry - FERGIE (boo-yeah!)
mood: blank. *ptui

you see, you have proven me right! and you finally knew the entry was dedicated to you!

you blame me for not having MSN?! bl**dy trivial! i'm not using hotmail anymore by the way!

maybe i am a kid trying to be an adult, gosh, aren't we all the same?

after what you've been through, can't i be worried for you? each time you're hurt, do you know i feel so crap-up for you?! each time you fall into depression, i feel so sh*tty!

okay, if you forgot your phone, i have nothing much to say. but do you know the way you just brush me off after that, i expected better from you, do you know that?! i called some of your friends, asking whether did you mentioned anything to them, that was how worried i was!

well, i didn't know life was so not worth living for! after all you've been through...!

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gosh... i'm having low blood pressure now. been having this sudden drop in sugar level for the past few days, just hope it's not something else i dread the most...

gosh, i ain't perfect!

i used to have thoughts of commiting suicide, imagine when i die, wondering who will come to my funeral, who will cry over my body. but HEY! i won't do THAT ANYMORE! life's still worth living!

i will be a good mother to my kids, i'll adopt kids too. i'll read to them story books every night, making them laugh with the very bad impersonation of the 3 lil' piggies. i'll kiss them good night, slobbering over them like a dog. i'll tell them how much i love them, unlike how little my mum has ever said such words to me...

shhh.

...I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry...

we're all growing, learning, loving, each time we take a breath on this earth, do you know that? each time we smile, laugh, frown, it's emotions EVOKED.

perhaps we lost people in our life, perhaps we love someone who those not return the favor, perhaps we might feel like ending our life now, please don't lose hope. Hope is a beautiful thing (somebody thought me this...! *winks). it makes you carry on with your life, no matter hard it could be...

...The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay...

slowly, you'll see how i feel.

...Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity...

I'M ECCENTRIC, don't forget this fact!!!!

Labels: adopt, afterthoughts, boo-yeah, change, dissapointed, don't cry, gaah, gimme, grown up, help, hurts, lost, love, more than words, over you, panic, thanks, unrequited love, what about maturity

listening: What i've done - Linkin Park
mood: erm. pretty peachy, i guess...

bwahahaha...! i'm gonna WATCH HARRY POTTER and the ORDER of the PHONEIX this week!!!! lurve my DANIEL RADCLIFFE!!!!!! XD

i think i'm going to start to PANIC again, cause certain things are not really done yet... >,< gaah!!! tasukete kudasai~

just bought this book "I kiss dating goodbye" by josh harris. SERIOUSLY, i've gotta stop putting myself in such relationships, that does not seem to benefit either God or me... it's also about COMMITMENT. sheesh, people nowadays don't know what's the real meaning of commitment. gosh, we're just NAiVE, aren't we...? (yup, i'm also one of them...)

i just cut my hair, and i look damn BOYISH!!!!!! gaah, should have told the auntie to cut like my previous sunao hairstyle... damn... the auntie was kind of buay song, ever since i brought my namine wig for her to trim just 2 weeks back... sheesh, if you dun wan to cut, you cld have say so, i'll just find someone else to trim for me... just for a lil' trim, you bl**dy hell overcharge me lor... wah lao...

*sigh* school's gonna start soon, eh... and it's this coming monday~~~ no~~~~ i still want my holiday~~~~~ gimme~ gimme~ gimme~ gimme back my holiday~~~ ;,;

Labels: afterthoughts, boyish-looking, gimme, God's LurvE, holiday, ORDER, overcharge, panic