listening: big girls don't cry - FERGIE (boo-yeah!)
mood: blank. *ptui

you see, you have proven me right! and you finally knew the entry was dedicated to you!

you blame me for not having MSN?! bl**dy trivial! i'm not using hotmail anymore by the way!

maybe i am a kid trying to be an adult, gosh, aren't we all the same?

after what you've been through, can't i be worried for you? each time you're hurt, do you know i feel so crap-up for you?! each time you fall into depression, i feel so sh*tty!

okay, if you forgot your phone, i have nothing much to say. but do you know the way you just brush me off after that, i expected better from you, do you know that?! i called some of your friends, asking whether did you mentioned anything to them, that was how worried i was!

well, i didn't know life was so not worth living for! after all you've been through...!

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gosh... i'm having low blood pressure now. been having this sudden drop in sugar level for the past few days, just hope it's not something else i dread the most...

gosh, i ain't perfect!

i used to have thoughts of commiting suicide, imagine when i die, wondering who will come to my funeral, who will cry over my body. but HEY! i won't do THAT ANYMORE! life's still worth living!

i will be a good mother to my kids, i'll adopt kids too. i'll read to them story books every night, making them laugh with the very bad impersonation of the 3 lil' piggies. i'll kiss them good night, slobbering over them like a dog. i'll tell them how much i love them, unlike how little my mum has ever said such words to me...

shhh.

...I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry...

we're all growing, learning, loving, each time we take a breath on this earth, do you know that? each time we smile, laugh, frown, it's emotions EVOKED.

perhaps we lost people in our life, perhaps we love someone who those not return the favor, perhaps we might feel like ending our life now, please don't lose hope. Hope is a beautiful thing (somebody thought me this...! *winks). it makes you carry on with your life, no matter hard it could be...

...The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay...

slowly, you'll see how i feel.

...Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity...

I'M ECCENTRIC, don't forget this fact!!!!

Labels: adopt, afterthoughts, boo-yeah, change, dissapointed, don't cry, gaah, gimme, grown up, help, hurts, lost, love, more than words, over you, panic, thanks, unrequited love, what about maturity

listening: she wore a yellow ribbon by lisa ono
mood: pretty chirpy, i guess...?

...around her neck she wore a yellow ribbon
shw wore it in the winter
and the merry month of may
and when i asked her why the yellow ribbon
she wore it for her sweetie who was far far away...

lalala... what a nice song... it's about this women wearing a yellow ribbon for her love one/husband/lover, who's actually in prison... sweet.... XD i guess everyone have heard about the Yellow Ribbon Project, right...? it's a project about helping ex-convicts to get back with the world, though they had committed crimes...! hahaX. i went to their concerts a few years back, damn NICE! hahaX.

gaah... i wanna adopt a kid... >,< really... a child dat will belong to suki, and suki alone. XD yahoo! sheesh, i wonder what wil the others think of this... hahaX.

*rolls around* i'm going to be 17 soon!!!! in just 2 weeks or so...! yeah~ do hope can have a makan session with minna-san~ miss you guys so much! hahaX. will spread my kisses later~ whee~~~~

i just had my photoshoot yesterday with rayblade wor! we went to sentosa for my namine de photoshoot. everyone was staring at me, cause of my DAMN nice blonde wiggy. hahaX. XD hahaX. but did enjoy my photoshoot...!!! thanks, rayblade~~

oh my~~~~~ i'm totally addicted to harry + severus pairing~~~ oh my~~~ sweet lurve~~~

sheesh... many things have changed, haven't they....? i've changed too... though not a PERFECT person yet. hahaX. been through love and pain. gained friends and foes. well, life can't always be that smooth-sailing, can it be...? if it's so smooth-sailing, i'll still be a spoiled lil' brat...!!!! hahaX.

you know what... sakai michiba is real sweet. he/she actually left a message at my LJ, telling me that ambivalent lucidity is at its last chapter. so sweet...

i want my POTTER boy!!!!!!! gimme~ gimme~ gimme~ gimme~ gimme~ gimme~ ...if not i'll set my HAMSTERS on you...

i want to learn spanish~~~ anybody willing to sponsor suki.luna...? XD

Labels: adopt, ambivalent lucidity, birthday, children, harry + sevvy, harry potter, namine, photoshoot, sakai michiba, sweet lurve, yellow ribbon

i finally finished my ten days roadshow at marine parade le. got a chance to rest le. i'm now having a bad SORE THROAT!!!!! >,< gaah....

hmmm. i'm not going for the event this sunday, cause i got photoshoot!!!! yeah! finally got my costume and wigs liao! hahaX. the only problem, is how to get my wig in shape wor... hahaX. cause namine the hair need to be layered by hairdressers de...

i think i finally know why curs said i am like hermoine le. Hermoine in the Harry potter series is a very sensible and mature girl, often given wisdom slightly wiser beyond her age to harry and ron. a very clever girl too. well, i'm sensible to a certain point bahX... hahaX.

i feel like starting a business ar... probably collaborate with my mum or smthg. since she can do beads earrings which are pretty nice.

gaah. lisa ono is a ver good singer!!!!! XD though its not the type of songs i'll sing, but probably enjoy whole heartedly... hahaX.

i feel like learning photography professionally. in photography we expressed emotions differently, cuase it's like a pair of human eyes, the perception of it, etc...

...you are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy when skies are grey...

gosh... lisa ono is really DAMN GOOD!!!!! XP

>> i just don't get this cosplayer ar... always tell me, she's busy with school, etc. but actually she's busy with her costumes. what a SELFISH little b*tch. i could have fought with her last friday, if i hadn't held my COOL. she's dAMN luCKY. f*ck euu lar. <<

>> I'M NOT BEING CRUDE, cause i can be worse than this, count your lucky stars! you better learn how to see from people's shoes, stop saying about living for others. we live for ourselves. i'm not asking you to be self-centred, i'm asking you to see that living on EARTH is a real blessing in disguise, some babies don't even live to see pass their first year of age. it hurts for me to see you like this. some people want to jump, run, laugh etc, but they cant, we can. why don't we just live each day with happiness...?

"Happiness is like a toothbrush
Everyone has one"

you are just hurting yourself even more.<<

hmm. i actually had a thought a few weeks ago. i wanna ADOPT kids! XD i want to give them more happiness, having a home, someone who loves them.... even if i were to have one of my own, i shall name him "SIRIUS"!!!! hahaX. X3 "sirius" actually means DOG STAR, do you know that? XD just lurve kids too much... XD

Labels: adopt, children, FUCK YOU, lisa ono, namine, photoshoot, start business, why hermoine