dear 'MR XH'

cheebye lar.

you owe me my pictures for over 5 months already, and you still got the &*%^ cheeks to post pictures for other cosplayers?!

don't think i am not watching you, my eyes are always on you. i chose to turn a blind eye to it anyway.

i am utterly disappointed. because i treated you as a friend, but you don't.

YOU BETTER GIVE ME MY PICTURES BEFORE COSFEST. I AM NOT NICE TO TRIFLE WITH WHEN I AM MAD.

Labels: 2009, cheated, dissapointed, feelings, friends, FUCK YOU

Listening: Katrina – David Tao
Mood: F*CKING P*SSED, HAPPY NOW?!

To be honest, I’m actually very, very p*ssed. And I am rarely seen doing the most absurd things, other than throwing a goddamn tantrum. Really, tantrums aren’t the worst of me.

When I get angry, I’ve actually got to hold my temper to the point, when actually there are times I’ve really wanted to hit someone. (Yes, I’ve got very bad temper…!) But each time, people have to just step over my head, going on “ATTACKING” me. Hey, I ain’t no sick cat.

I know I’ll do stupid things when I get real sh*tty p*ssed, that’s one of my reason of not hitting people. I even try to back down from a fight/quarrel at times when I know it’ll go to nowhere good for both of the parties, though I don’t really mind being “PHYSICAL”!

I know, this blog entry will not make any sense to anyone; it’s just that I’m real ANGRY!!! *Growl*

>>I feel so used! Each time I make the effort to something, you don’t seem to appreciate it! No point telling me that you want me. I feel like an sms-buddy of yours, I was never part of your life, I see…

I’m not good with words or with actions. I’m b*tchy. Irritating. Dumb. Insensitive. I’m not so feminine unlike the girls I know/mix with. They’re so soft, nice, sweet, understanding. I’m so MUCH like a guy at times, that sometimes I wonder whether am I a girl or a guy…<<

Maybe I’ll play…

Sh*t I never was patient. I never was the PERFECT dream girl. I never was what you wanted. I never trust people, EASILY, you know why?! Because I’m always being put down by people I care for, why do I actually have to bother to trust them in the first place? How many times have I trusted someone when each time I turn my back, he/she does something bad to me?! Have you bothered to understand me in the first place?! Have you ever bothered to keep your promise you made to me?!

If you have never ever thought of keeping your promises to me, I suggest we better stop being friends, I DO NOT like such people pretending to be part of my life. I have enough on my plate I don’t need yours. Don’t pretend you ever know me, cause I’m not what you see.

I’m not a f-ing s*ssy princess of yours, I’m the QUEEN.
I’ll play with you, like a cat playing with its dinner.
I’ll spin you round and round, till you get confused from what’s happening.
I’ll be that puppeteer, controlling your every move, if that’s what you want.
I’ll never be yours that is for sure…

Labels: afterthoughts, anger, FUCK YOU, p*ssed, pfft

listening: some of my classmates chattering in the self-access room.
mood: oops.

was reading a certain's friend's blog, when i chance upon this material/post/entry on Takuya-san's blog...

Saw this at Sgcafe.com , finally Kenshin uses his starlight breaker(rofl, the most powerful attack in Nanoha series XD), rofl. I still post this despite that Kazu, Ray and Sean kor has posted le, for the sake of my side's friends who still dun noe abt this~

http://sgcafe.com/


"SGCafe Temporary Closed 12 October 2007, 0000hrs to 2359hrs (or longer)

Reason? Because I need to rant. Yes, it's a selfish personal reason which members don't expect me to, but drastic action calls for drastic measures. Too many things are happening and 90% of the time people don't read what I say. Fine by me that you don't give two hoots about what I say, but if ANYONE still remembers the first thread I started in the news section after SGAnime switched to SGCafe, you'd know that SGCafe runs by MY RULES, MY POLICY.

I do what I want with this forum, including closing it down temporarily or permanently. So if you have even the slightest idea that you have the right to whine about the forum being closed, or that I shouldn't do it, shut the hell up and live with it. I've been having too many new people in the forums who think that SGCafe is some crazy zoo where you're able to do whatever you want and get away with it because there's no zoo keeper around. WRONG. That's not the way I run things. Senior members will probably have a better idea of how I run this place, and I am SO tired of dealing with people who don't bloody listen to other members.

Now that that's out of the picture, if you're one of those innocent members who haven't done anything (0 posts) to deserve my fury, my apologies for dragging your reading pleasure into this. For everyone else, there are 1001 things that could have pissed me off during your days as an SGCafe member. There might be a few people who didn't, but I probably can count you with my fingers.

I'm not getting heard by the members, members do not know me (I don't mean personally) nor know what I am saying. That's my main concern. I don't have any worry for the senior members (you know who you are), because you know how to contact me and get things done. The reason I'm guessing is that when SGAnime moved to SGCafe, there were barely 2,000 members. Now, there are 6,000 members, so we're looking at 4,000 new members, of which probably 1/2 of you are the ones who are the cause of this temporary closure. You have no idea how I want this forum to run, do NOT make the effort to find out, and simply just click the post button either to voice out (good), or simply to increase your GOD DAMN POST COUNT (bad).

Fine, half of the above problems are my fault. I was busy for a couple of years so I didn't have time to sort out the forum stuff. By the time I did, it was probably too late. The news section needs a cleanup but I haven't gotten around doing it. That still doesn't mean you as a member, do not have the responsibility to find out information on your own.

Some history for those that don't know. When I was running SGAnime, it was based on one single rule, common sense. Every post, every action, had to have some common sense involved. "Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself." It worked well for some time until people started getting personal with me. I tried to make everyone happy, so I did stuff for good of the majority of members, not just listen to the mobs who were against it and voiced. I fought my own wars then, and got tired, which resulted in the forming of SGCafe, and the major change to the rules. Common sense still applies, but I call the final shot. If I say NO, its NO, regardless of what you think. Worked pretty well for then, until now when the situation has gotten what I'll call, out of hand, because the 2,000 members I'm looking at have NO idea what I am talking about, this "common sense" thing.

FFA. Free For All. This is the way I wanted SGAnime, and now SGCafe to run. This is the mentality I have, which some, but not all of you know. I didn't make specific mention of this, but I think I should now since I'm ranting. Free For All refers to the right for anyone to say whatever they want. Of course, FFA alone is a REALLY bad idea. I can imagine how chaotic the situation would have gotten very quickly, so I implemented the need for common sense. For you, to use WHATEVER common sense you had in you to decide what to say, and whether or not to say it. By doing so, you will also need to BEAR RESPONSIBLITY for what you said. In short, what I wanted was an unmoderated forum, where members could interact peacefully (as far as possible) in a civilized manner, always exercising common sense and responsiblity.

Now, when I refer to common sense, a lot of people, especially the 2,000 of you I'm targeting are going to say stuff like common sense is what you think is right. NO, NO and NO. That's not common sense, that's your selfish ego. Common sense is what is "common" to everyone, meaning what the majority think is right. Think about others, and their response to your post, before posting something that's probably going to piss everyone off. If it doesn't need to be said, don't say it.

One thing I see in common with a lot of new members (and some old ones), the lack of RESPECT. How are you going to co-exist with someone without an ounce of respect for each other? Peacefully or non-peacefully, there still needs to be some form of respect, which I see very much lacking in the forums. I can't teach you respect, but without respect, you're not going to be able to exercise common sense. Either find some way to learn both respect and common sense, or keep quiet.

Flaming. I already expected flames, and already decided that I WILL NOT GET INVOLVED. FIGHT YOUR OWN WAR WITH YOUR OWN WORDS. Unmoderated means I do not take any action against content, except when it is absolutely necessary to, such as legal reasons. I probably didn't "advertise" this stance of mine enough, but here it is. I DO NOT GET INVOLVED IN FLAMES. I DO NOT CLOSE THREADS WHEN YOU ASK ME TO. I DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT I WANT TO TAKE ACTION. Thread owners are expected to close their own threads, get them to close the thread if you need to, but it's their own decision whether or not to do it. If you feel you have been defamed, insulted, whatever, find a lawyer and he/she will know how to contact me.

Lack of moderators is the other complain I see all over the place, and usually by the newer members. First, what is the point in having moderators in a forum that is suppose to be unmoderated? You are suppose to be able to freely post whatever you want (exercising common sense) without being restricted by moderators. Second, every person thinks differently, which means every moderator is going to have a different opinion. I'm going to have hell trying to manage all these different people, opinions and decisions in the forums. So no, I run this forum by myself and it stays that way. If you think I need to step in (after making sure the above are met), contact me. Whining about having moderators in threads, or posting in a thread saying "Kenshin/Admin, do something" is not going to work because I BARELY read any thread. You want my attention, make sure it DESERVES my attention then contact me via PM or email.

Spamming is fine by me, but again, exercise common sense. Spam where you're suppose to spam, use your DAMN COMMON SENSE. Who am I talking about? Someone posts a complain thread about spamming, and you go SPAM IN THERE? Where's your BLOODY RESPECT FOR OTHERS? Where's your COMMON SENSE? This is the no. 1 reason to spark me off this rant. I definitely didn't expect such a response to someone who put up an honest complaint. I asked the thread starter to close the thread and start a new one, and what happens? Same damn thing. Didn't bother to see the closed thread on the same page? Must I totally change my policy outright and stop all spamming? Respect the thread starter, keep to the topic if the thread starter wants it that way. Do your spamming in the right places.

I don't ban people unless necessary, and when I mean necessary, I mean when banning works. I ban one account, they just start another, so what's the point? Asking me to ban people who can easily create a new account is not going to work. You don't want them to spam or irritate you, stop feeding them by replying to their posts. Ignore them, the option is in the control panel. Do whatever necessary in your own power, stop expecting me to spoonfeed you by taking care of all these problems. This is a public forum, you're going to have all sorts of people, live with it.

I'll work out some way to put up this information so that new members from now on know, and will remember, but that'll take some time. Everyone needs to know how I want to run this place, work with me to have this place running properly. You want a good time here, so do I. I want to give you a good time, but you need to help yourself first.

Targeted groups of people now. I see an influx of 14-16 year olds (as of 2007) joining the forums. I'm not trying to discriminate against all of you, but some of you obviously do not know how to respect the older members. These members are probably older than you, and can be considered your elders. Minus some of them who are probably acting like kids instead of their age (you bunch can join the REAL under 16s in my rant), most of them have more experience in life than yourself, so listen and respect. I know most teenages nowadays simply don't listen to their parents/elders and are very rebellious, but I'm not having any of that rubbish in my forum. Either you learn to respect every other member and even more for members than yourself, or else delete SGCafe from your bookmarks and stay out. Find somewhere else to feed that attitude of yours, definitely not SGCafe. Also, regardless of my age, I expect some decent respect when you talk to me. Get your high and mighty attitude out of the window before even attempting to PM/email me, or reply to any post I make. I will make your SGCafe life a living hell IF I want to, so don't make me go that route. When I say something to you, I expect you to listen, like it or not. Whoever pissed me off on this accord, you better know who you are, cause the next time you piss me off again, I'm not holding back.

Commerical entities. There have been people representing various shops/companies in the forums over the past few month. I am fine with the occasional advertisement in the announcement forum, and mentioning that your shop/company provides the service/product in various threads, but what I do NOT want to see is false advertisement or blatent brainwashing of the members. You know who you are, I don't need to say further. As again, don't make me do things unnecessary, cause when it becomes necessary, you sure as hell don't want to see me do stuff.

SGMarket. I've already did the tidying up of the SGMarket forum into categories. I EXPECT you to read the sticky in the forum before posting. The rules of the market are in there. I already banned some people from SGMarket, and I will not hesitate to do so again if you do not follow the rules. It's the only place with rules, and only a few simple rules. If you can't follow them, don't post anything, simple as that. Sick and tired of having to do extra clean up work. My thanks to those who followed the rules and also those who helped report. Your effort in keeping the SGMarket forums clean and tidy is great, keep up the good work.

Trades and orders. Trades I mean buying/selling in the forums. Bad trades happen all the time. People disappear before/after the trade. There's no guarantee or anything, and that's just it. There's nothing I can do to help, banning is out of the question, rating is not easy to do. The easiest way is for you to warn everyone by actively monitoring the market for people who you have dealt with and had bad experiences. Same for mass/pre orders, there have been many cases where things don't go well. If you have a bad experience, go ahead and post in the sellers' threads, both new and old. If you have a real case, I'll not take any action, no matter what the thread starter says. And sellers/orderers, please don't do business unless you're sure you can handle it.

Announcement forum. I'll be frank. The whole lot of you that are posting all sorts of crap in the announcement forums? You're childish. Fighting, mimicing each other's threads, turning the announcement forum into some kind of A vs B forum. I'm not doing anything yet because I'm not getting involved, but look at yourselves. Some of you are adults behaving like kids, the rest of you who aren't kids or acting like kids, are adding oil into the flames. If you have something constructive, fine. The announcement forum is for members to share information with each other, definitely NOT for the kind of threads I've been seeing.

Trolls & attention seekers. There are bound to be people like that. But the rest of you come bitching to me about them, when you obviously are giving them what they want, ATTENTION. Ignore them, treat them as invisible, and it'll probably work better than you getting involved in a mud slinging fest with them. You're giving them the attention they want, and they'll just keep on going. Then you come complaining to me about them? Deal with these people yourself, find ways, means, whatever.

Unhappy with Kenshin people. Some people don't like me. Some people hate me. After this closure, my guess is the number is probably going to increase. Sorry, but I don't like you much either. You don't like the way I do things? Leave. You don't like me threathening or actually closing the forum like this? Leave. I've given up pleasing everyone. I please myself and the majority who want SGCafe to keep going. If you're the minority, either learn to co-exist, or just please just leave.

People who ask me to act. I appreciate the help that you guys are doing, letting me know if something requires my attention. but I hope you will really read the above, and make sure that it does deserve my attention. Whoever reported the spam complaint thread, thanks. But whoever is reporting the announcement threads, trolling threads, etc, no thank you. Based on the above, the chances for me to act is unlikely because you guys/gals need to settle it yourselves.

I'll end my rant here. If you want to treat this temporary closure as a punishment, fine. If you're innocently punished, sorry, but it's not my fault, go blame the above people I mentioned. I have no idea what else I can do to get people to listen anymore, so this is what I'll do whenever things get out of hand. Hate me if you want, this is still my forum and I'll do things my way, the way I want for the majority of members to be able to enjoy the forums. I'm not running this forum for my own good. A huge amount of money and effort is spent running a forum this large and the least you as a member can do is work with me and keep the forum a great place for hanging out.

Kenshin"

wow. this is what i ACTUALLY HAVE in mind for a very long time.

i've been in sgcafe (http://sgcafe.com) for almost 2 years, in singaporeanimenews for about 2 years too! well, recently there have been lots of FLAMING around...! and i'm DEAD SERIOUS about this! i have cosplayers who do not seriously give me the respect though i'm older than them. (and you think i'll mention names, no way dude.)

flame. flame. flame. whe are they going to stop?! when are they going to take a step back, and think it through?! till someone's hurt, and report to the police?! some people even say they enjoy watching people flame online, gosh. this is CHILDISH. i repeat, CHILDISH!!!!!! argh...

if scared people "EAT" your money when you buy something from them, then DON'T BUY.

i want my SGCAFE.com, so u want to FLAME/SPAM USELESS NONESENSE, you can just f*ck off.

and give me my bl**dy due respect in the forum!!!!

Labels: afterthoughts, boo-yeah, FUCK YOU, gaah, gimme, grown up, help, RANDOM, reliefed, sgcafe.com, SHOCK, SHORT-CIRCUIT, smack bUTTS, thanks, what about maturity

#1 - i'm GOING to SERIOUSLY get over that JERK. yeah, one usless crap on earth, corrupts the environment. yes, they do. f*ck euu.

#2 - i'm in contact with 2 of my secondary school teachers again! XD hahaX. after don't know how many DONKEY months since i've contacted them. hahaX. just hope i ain't too late.

#3 - i wanna read more novels!!!! i want to read more books ne, but like not much nice one to read, especially mangas. sheesh, standards have went down ne.

#4 - *sigh* i'm tired, i need my sleep.

Labels: bleh, FUCK YOU, grown up, hurts, memories, more than words, time

listening: never again - kelly clarkson
mood: more P*SEED then ever...

you're just one of the UGLIEST people i've ever seen. gosh. really ugly. and i'm not talking about looks. i couldn't believe you to do that to me...! what an ugly heart you have. you better lose them now, you'll be even more heartless than those you see in KINGDOM HEARTS.

...I hope the ring you gave to her turns her finger green
I hope when your in bed with her, you think of me
I would never wish bad things, but I don't wish you well
Could you tell, by the flames that burned your words...

you never bothered to know people, do you?

...Does it hurt to know I'll never be there
Bet it sucks, to see my face everywhere
It was you, who chose to end it like you did
I was the last to know
You knew exactly what you would do
And don't say, you simply lost your way
She may believe you but I never will
Never again...

i'll never again believe you... you a**hole... you think you can ripped my heart and go off pretending nthg ever happened, eh?! guess what! no such thing! not even in this lifetime! gosh, i wish you were never born...

...If she really knows the truth, she deserves you
A trophy wife, oh how cute
Ignorance is bliss
But when your day comes, and he's through with you
And he'll be through with you
You'll die together but alone...

i'll make sure i'll reveal your d*rty lil' secrets, who knows whether have you hurt anyone else that i lurve and care for... sheesh. i can't trust you now, neither will i in the future.

you're just one DISGUSTING GIT. can you just die or something?

curs>> by the way, if haldir keeps attacking you. show her this post of mine.

haldir>> please shut your bl**dy trap for everyone is so P*ssed with your all-so-saint remarks about people from my team. gosh, you're DAMN "NAIVE" eh?! you don't own harry potter for merlin's-sake! you're already how old for pete's sake? grow up! you do any sh*t again, seriously, i'll make sure you can't sleep for the next bl**dy one week. just SHUT UP, will 'ya?

sarahcoldheart>> i'll suggest you to opened your sesame-sized eyes to look at what type of friends you're mixing with. it's disgusting to have such people around.

i've had it. JUST SHUT UP AND DIE.

Labels: afterthoughts, AVADA KECAVRA, bleh, cheated, cosFUCK, cursendra, FUCK YOU, grown up, harry potter, memories, more than words, over you

i finally finished my ten days roadshow at marine parade le. got a chance to rest le. i'm now having a bad SORE THROAT!!!!! >,< gaah....

hmmm. i'm not going for the event this sunday, cause i got photoshoot!!!! yeah! finally got my costume and wigs liao! hahaX. the only problem, is how to get my wig in shape wor... hahaX. cause namine the hair need to be layered by hairdressers de...

i think i finally know why curs said i am like hermoine le. Hermoine in the Harry potter series is a very sensible and mature girl, often given wisdom slightly wiser beyond her age to harry and ron. a very clever girl too. well, i'm sensible to a certain point bahX... hahaX.

i feel like starting a business ar... probably collaborate with my mum or smthg. since she can do beads earrings which are pretty nice.

gaah. lisa ono is a ver good singer!!!!! XD though its not the type of songs i'll sing, but probably enjoy whole heartedly... hahaX.

i feel like learning photography professionally. in photography we expressed emotions differently, cuase it's like a pair of human eyes, the perception of it, etc...

...you are my sunshine, my only sunshine
you make me happy when skies are grey...

gosh... lisa ono is really DAMN GOOD!!!!! XP

>> i just don't get this cosplayer ar... always tell me, she's busy with school, etc. but actually she's busy with her costumes. what a SELFISH little b*tch. i could have fought with her last friday, if i hadn't held my COOL. she's dAMN luCKY. f*ck euu lar. <<

>> I'M NOT BEING CRUDE, cause i can be worse than this, count your lucky stars! you better learn how to see from people's shoes, stop saying about living for others. we live for ourselves. i'm not asking you to be self-centred, i'm asking you to see that living on EARTH is a real blessing in disguise, some babies don't even live to see pass their first year of age. it hurts for me to see you like this. some people want to jump, run, laugh etc, but they cant, we can. why don't we just live each day with happiness...?

"Happiness is like a toothbrush
Everyone has one"

you are just hurting yourself even more.<<

hmm. i actually had a thought a few weeks ago. i wanna ADOPT kids! XD i want to give them more happiness, having a home, someone who loves them.... even if i were to have one of my own, i shall name him "SIRIUS"!!!! hahaX. X3 "sirius" actually means DOG STAR, do you know that? XD just lurve kids too much... XD

Labels: adopt, children, FUCK YOU, lisa ono, namine, photoshoot, start business, why hermoine

listening: over you - chris daughtry (f*CK)

The greatest courage is the courage to be happy - Tibetan Proverb

gaah. why do i want to do something so RASH?! i was so close to diclosing thhings about him!!!! >,< argh. better sit down and cool down, man.

well, suki.luna is proud of herself today, cause she finished her NAFA test le, though don't think I'l pass all the test, i'm never the sports type of students... >,< i was cheering people even when i was running! hahaX. that's me, when i'm out of my mind, though not really DAT out of my mind.
my vacation is staring this week! yahho! am working for the next ten days starting from this saturday! yeah~ money~

i'll go cut my hair during the vacation too, i think... i want to start afresh ar...!!! after all this things... wouldn't anyone else one to start afresh too...?

gaah!!!! why does these few love songs seem to be playing in my mind?! gaah! *bangs head against table* argh. why. does. it. have. to. happen. to. me. gaah.

finoa>> sorry, for being DAMN tough to you. (tough lurve!) do try to put yourself in my shoe... i understand things that you're going through now.

kairi>> DAMN it. i think i'm in LURVE with you! hahaX... jus joking... i wanna meet up with you! X3

claude>> sorry ar. mummy today not really feeling that well. muacks~ but thanks for organizing anyway!

daisuke>> macross gave me my pics liao~ where's mine?! hahaX.

f*cking a**hole who broke my heart months back>> f*ck you. if i find out you're doing the same thing to your girl, you shall never see the daylight. f*ck you, bastard. i'm now your friend, not your girl anymore, so you better watch your back. your girl might be reading my blog any moment.

i want my MAROON 5!!!!!!!!!! maROON 5!!!!!!!! maroon 5!!!!!!

i'm bringing sexyback, yeah~ sh*t. DAMN affected by SHA liao. *growls*

GIVE ME MY MAROON 5!!!!!!!!!!!!

Labels: asshole, FUCK YOU, gaah, HIGH, hurts, kairi, maroon 5, over you, relationships