Title: Ben
Artist: Michael Jackson






Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you, my friend, will see
You've got a friend in me
(you've got a friend in me)







Ben, you're always running here and there
You feel you're not wanted anywhere
If you ever look behind
And don't like what you find
There's one thing you should know
You've got a place to go
(you've got a place to go)







I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
I used to say "I" and "me"
Now it's "us", now it's "we"
Ben, most people would turn you away
I don't listen to a word they say
They don't see you as I do
I wish they would try to
I'm sure they'd think again
If they had a friend like Ben
(a friend) Like Ben
(like Ben) Like Ben




---






i beg you, this isn't fun anymore.

Labels: 2009, don't cry, friends, hurts, relationships

if you're underage *p.s. under 18 years of age*, don't read.










i repeat.












don't read the below entry, before your mother bans you from the computer.



















JUST F*CK YOURSELF AND DIE.








FINE, DON'T BOTHER TO TALK TO ME ANYMORE.

I don't see why I should be so kind to you, when you're just concealing things up.

You're just f*cking mean.

I am going to hit you where it hurts.

=you're just making it worse.=

Labels: 2009, feelings, hurts

was on MC yesterday as lately I have been having quite a bad bout of gastritis.

The doctor was saying that if it were to persist any longer, even after the increase dosage of medication, she would refer me to the hospital for a scope.

It's not that I do not want to have proper meals, but try having a Director of Sales who don't seem to empathise the fact I suffer from gastric from time to time, and sometimes even get sudden attacks, it's not helping at all.

EVERYONE, FOR ONCE, KNOW I LOVE FOOD A LOT. DX

Labels: 2009, afterthoughts, asshole, bitch, bleh, boo-yeah, gastric, help, hurts, i am prettier than you

listening: stop and stare by one republic
mood: *silently praying* GOD, LET ME HAPPY...!!!

projects are a lot (i don't believe that we have to submit them so soon...! *shriek*)
over drive manga is super COOL
PRINCESS SAKURA (in my list) IS A HARDCORE B*TCH (and i don't mean it as a compliment & never ever mention anything to me about her)
TV watching is going to be LIMITED soon
jobs-hunting a definite!
am so SINGLE (who wants a man who seriously CONSTANTLY LIES to YOU...!)
j-ROCK songs are making way into my mp3
money is definite neccesity in my life
might get a part-time job soon!
handphone not constantly with me (anything email or pm me on friendster/sgcafe)
changing blogskin soon (need to do linking first)

i wish i could seriously blog on whatever happened to me in the past 3-4 months, but honestly, am so lazy....! lol.

1. Great Grandma & Grand-Uncle passed away within one week from each other. Great-Grandma went first, then Grand-Uncle. but honestly ar, i ain't close to either of them though it seems that my great grandma is kinda nice... she passed away about 2 weeks after Chinese New Year.

2. B*tches who seriously wanna b*tch about me (especially you, PRINCESS SAKURA/SAKURA-HIME/YUZHEN), do it in my face, man... i don't like cowards okay? you want to play dirty, make sure you don't leave clues behind...! want to cat fight? i'll find a cat that is in heat and let you 'play' with it. don't SERIOUSLY try to piss me off. you wouldn't want me to do anything to you, do ya...?

3. hmm... can't remember what i wanna type le... argh...





oh yeah, i've researching on how to do latte art, since entp project last semester. damn cool, man...! probably i'll do a presentation on that during assembly. even miss deon was also curious on how professional baristas do that. lol. when i have my café's ready (ORION café), i'll go learn how to be a barista...!!! woo-hoo!!!

latte art, here i come!!!

Labels: afterthoughts, café, hurts, ITE, latte art, lurve ones, p*ssed, pfft, RANDOM, ruBBISH, screwed, SEXYBACK, SHORT-CIRCUIT, smack bUTTS, smiley faces, start business, tears, time, whatever, with lurve

mood: moo. moo. moo.
listening: Bridge to the Other Side

there's a Class Outing going on next week, argh, i'll only be returning form KL on that day ar... how??? *sigh*

i should start on my new year resolutions soon, man... maybe one for every month, how bout thaT? then i must motivate myself to do them..!!! *gosh, aren't i lazy?*

was inspired by curs' entry on her blog recently...

i miss...

GOD
CHURCh *i swear i ain't no goody 2 shoes christian*
being free!!!
some of my beloved friends i've not met for a very long time...
cosplaying as someone i can really relate myself to...
*curs, you, too... miss ya' nagging/SCOLDINGS!!!! XD*

gosh. i should really stop and take a lok around me, before i lose everything...

Labels: afterthoughts, bleh, boo-yeah, cursendra, directions, don't cry, God's LurvE, grown up, hugs and lurves, hurts, ITE, leaving, lose everything, lurve ones, sweet lurve, unrequited love, whatever

listening: big girls don't cry - FERGIE (boo-yeah!)
mood: blank. *ptui

you see, you have proven me right! and you finally knew the entry was dedicated to you!

you blame me for not having MSN?! bl**dy trivial! i'm not using hotmail anymore by the way!

maybe i am a kid trying to be an adult, gosh, aren't we all the same?

after what you've been through, can't i be worried for you? each time you're hurt, do you know i feel so crap-up for you?! each time you fall into depression, i feel so sh*tty!

okay, if you forgot your phone, i have nothing much to say. but do you know the way you just brush me off after that, i expected better from you, do you know that?! i called some of your friends, asking whether did you mentioned anything to them, that was how worried i was!

well, i didn't know life was so not worth living for! after all you've been through...!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

gosh... i'm having low blood pressure now. been having this sudden drop in sugar level for the past few days, just hope it's not something else i dread the most...

gosh, i ain't perfect!

i used to have thoughts of commiting suicide, imagine when i die, wondering who will come to my funeral, who will cry over my body. but HEY! i won't do THAT ANYMORE! life's still worth living!

i will be a good mother to my kids, i'll adopt kids too. i'll read to them story books every night, making them laugh with the very bad impersonation of the 3 lil' piggies. i'll kiss them good night, slobbering over them like a dog. i'll tell them how much i love them, unlike how little my mum has ever said such words to me...

shhh.

...I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry...

we're all growing, learning, loving, each time we take a breath on this earth, do you know that? each time we smile, laugh, frown, it's emotions EVOKED.

perhaps we lost people in our life, perhaps we love someone who those not return the favor, perhaps we might feel like ending our life now, please don't lose hope. Hope is a beautiful thing (somebody thought me this...! *winks). it makes you carry on with your life, no matter hard it could be...

...The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay...

slowly, you'll see how i feel.

...Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be my Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and center, clarity
Peace, Serenity...

I'M ECCENTRIC, don't forget this fact!!!!

Labels: adopt, afterthoughts, boo-yeah, change, dissapointed, don't cry, gaah, gimme, grown up, help, hurts, lost, love, more than words, over you, panic, thanks, unrequited love, what about maturity

listening: thks fr th mmrs by FALLOUT BOY
mood: very DISAPPOINTED

>> do you know how worried i was...? i was so scared that something happened to you, that i really felt so lost. i could have marched my a** up to your shop, to seriously get a f*cking answer from you, do you know that...?

...I'm gonna make you bend and break
(It sent you to me without wings)
Say a prayer but let the good times roll
In case God doesn't show
(Let the good times roll, let the good times roll)
And I want these words to make things right
But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life
"Who does he think he is?"
If that's the worst you got
Better put your fingers back to the keys...

do you know why THOSE things are happening to you...? do you know EXACTLY why? it's just so hard to make you understand that the world does not only revolves around you? i've tried so hard, yet you seem to have never taken me as a friend of yours. gosh, i should have seen that coming.

you're DAMN lucky that i have dedicated this whole bl**dy f*cking entry for you, i've never done that to others, yet you 'have' to be the FIRST.

...Been looking forward to the future
But my eyesight is going bad
And this crystal ball
It's always cloudy except for (except for)
When you look into the past (look into the past)
One night stand (one night stand off)...<<

what a 'PERFECT' song for the 'PERFECT' mood.

whoa. been slacking at home ever since holiday started last week. hahaX. i better start revising on my o level's subjects ar, can't have myself failing those unbearable subjects again, can't i...?



saw that...? my daughter is just so kawaii....!!! XD hahaX. that's Souffle btw, i have another pinky by the name of liEn, read as lI-An. gosh, souffle's cute...! whee~

hahaX. i think i shall cosplay as harry potter for my upcoming photoshoot ne... XD yeah! and Kit says he'll be coming...!!!! whee...!

...One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
even though they weren't so great
"He tastes like you only sweeter"
One night, yeah, and one more time
Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories
"He, he tastes like you only sweeter"...

well, i've gotta geton with life, eh...?

Labels: afterthoughts, dissapointed, hurts, more than words, pinky st:, souffle, what about maturity

#1 - i'm GOING to SERIOUSLY get over that JERK. yeah, one usless crap on earth, corrupts the environment. yes, they do. f*ck euu.

#2 - i'm in contact with 2 of my secondary school teachers again! XD hahaX. after don't know how many DONKEY months since i've contacted them. hahaX. just hope i ain't too late.

#3 - i wanna read more novels!!!! i want to read more books ne, but like not much nice one to read, especially mangas. sheesh, standards have went down ne.

#4 - *sigh* i'm tired, i need my sleep.

Labels: bleh, FUCK YOU, grown up, hurts, memories, more than words, time

listening: the stupid things by jesse macartney
mood: how do i feel about you...?

well, now am logging in from school self-access room... hmm... too many things on my mind le...

finoa>> my lurve... i'm sorry if i really made you upset last night... >,< i'm really sorry...! plaese forgive me...! >,<

...And all the stupid things I do
Have absolutely no reflection on
How I feel about you
How I feel ohhh
All the stupid things I do have absolutely no reflection on
How I feel about you
How I feel about you, yeah...

hush, hush, there are many wonders in life... there are also things that i wil not understand now... but i promise you, i'll do what i've promised you, unlike those people you know....<<

...I used to be someone
Who only really thought about
Themselves and no one else
And you could tell baby
But that's before
I understood
That when you've
Got something this good
Gotta let her know
And I want you to know...

shhhh... let's run away to somewhere... we'll lie in the grass, counting the stars in the dark skies, making wishes on every shooting star we see... slowly i'll look into your eyes, caressing your cheek, confessing how much i feel for you...

(p.s. it's pretty random ehhh...)

Labels: afterthoughts, hugs and lurves, hurts, more than words

listening: over you - chris daughtry (f*CK)

The greatest courage is the courage to be happy - Tibetan Proverb

gaah. why do i want to do something so RASH?! i was so close to diclosing thhings about him!!!! >,< argh. better sit down and cool down, man.

well, suki.luna is proud of herself today, cause she finished her NAFA test le, though don't think I'l pass all the test, i'm never the sports type of students... >,< i was cheering people even when i was running! hahaX. that's me, when i'm out of my mind, though not really DAT out of my mind.
my vacation is staring this week! yahho! am working for the next ten days starting from this saturday! yeah~ money~

i'll go cut my hair during the vacation too, i think... i want to start afresh ar...!!! after all this things... wouldn't anyone else one to start afresh too...?

gaah!!!! why does these few love songs seem to be playing in my mind?! gaah! *bangs head against table* argh. why. does. it. have. to. happen. to. me. gaah.

finoa>> sorry, for being DAMN tough to you. (tough lurve!) do try to put yourself in my shoe... i understand things that you're going through now.

kairi>> DAMN it. i think i'm in LURVE with you! hahaX... jus joking... i wanna meet up with you! X3

claude>> sorry ar. mummy today not really feeling that well. muacks~ but thanks for organizing anyway!

daisuke>> macross gave me my pics liao~ where's mine?! hahaX.

f*cking a**hole who broke my heart months back>> f*ck you. if i find out you're doing the same thing to your girl, you shall never see the daylight. f*ck you, bastard. i'm now your friend, not your girl anymore, so you better watch your back. your girl might be reading my blog any moment.

i want my MAROON 5!!!!!!!!!! maROON 5!!!!!!!! maroon 5!!!!!!

i'm bringing sexyback, yeah~ sh*t. DAMN affected by SHA liao. *growls*

GIVE ME MY MAROON 5!!!!!!!!!!!!

Labels: asshole, FUCK YOU, gaah, HIGH, hurts, kairi, maroon 5, over you, relationships

listening : make me wonder by maroon 5

asma's leaving our clas as of today. almost everyone were crying, including michael (aka haikal). she's leavig our course to pursue a degree, so sh can head to NIE to become a teacher.

i can't stop her, can i? after all, it's her decison to make whether to leave or to stay. though there was a period of time we cursed that she'll fail her entrance exams... >,<;

asma>> lurve u lots. don't forget me. i've learned so much from you, do you know that?

i'm learning to change. i'm never perfect, but i'm tryng to be. please be patient with me,this what i beg of you guys. i'm not GOD, i'm just a normal person trying to change her life.

Labels: change, hurts, leaving