have been listening to Corrinne May's Shelter for the past few days...

---

We share a bond
You and I we belong
We're like coffee and morning trains
You strip my defenses
I catch your pretenses
The same blood runs through our veins
I swore I'd be your lifeline
Made a vow that I'd surround you with love at every milestone
I'll listen when nobody gets you
I'm still standing in your corner
Waiting by your door
You don't have to be alone

Just call my name
Let me be an answer
'cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let me be your shelter my friend

It was not too long ago
You sought to understand
You helped me mend
Remember when
So promise me you'll

Call my name
Let me be an answer
'cause it hurts me to see you this way
I wanna ease your pain
Help me understand
Let my be your shelter my friend

---

Can I be your shelter?

Labels: 2009, friends, God's LurvE, shelter

mood: moo. moo. moo.
listening: Bridge to the Other Side

there's a Class Outing going on next week, argh, i'll only be returning form KL on that day ar... how??? *sigh*

i should start on my new year resolutions soon, man... maybe one for every month, how bout thaT? then i must motivate myself to do them..!!! *gosh, aren't i lazy?*

was inspired by curs' entry on her blog recently...

i miss...

GOD
CHURCh *i swear i ain't no goody 2 shoes christian*
being free!!!
some of my beloved friends i've not met for a very long time...
cosplaying as someone i can really relate myself to...
*curs, you, too... miss ya' nagging/SCOLDINGS!!!! XD*

gosh. i should really stop and take a lok around me, before i lose everything...

Labels: afterthoughts, bleh, boo-yeah, cursendra, directions, don't cry, God's LurvE, grown up, hugs and lurves, hurts, ITE, leaving, lose everything, lurve ones, sweet lurve, unrequited love, whatever

mood: i don't know, everything's in a mess now...
listening: Right Where You Want Me by JESSE MCCARTNEY

gosh. why do i feel that everything in my mind is in a mess?! i can't seem to get anything right at all... feel like crap...

...Girl,
There's something 'bout me that you ought to know.
I've never felt the need to lose control.
Always held on back and played it slow.
But not this time.
Baby, don't be gentle,
I can handle anything...

let me set things straight before i throw myself of the cliff. Yes, i'm single and VERY AVAILABLE now. but right now, i'm not ready to be in a relationship. i don't want to be the vulnerable one in the relationship, i don't want to get so scared each time i'm w/ a guy, i want that guy to be CHOSEN by GOD.

...Baby,
Take me on a journey.
I've been thinking lately,
I could use a little time alone with you.
Crazy,
Let's do something, maybe.
Please don't take your time,
You got me,
Right where you want me...

i'm afraid of being CHEATED. i'm afraid of losing my MIND. i'm afraid of hurting my LOVE ONES.

yes, i'll be lonely being SINGLE, but do you think it's really a problem to me? no, it's not a problem to me, at all. though it's getting tempting now to be in a relationship, i will stay abide what i've promised to myself, and also to GOD.

i admit, i ain't no goody-goody CHRISTIAN, i stll have more to learn in LIFE!

...Can't explain it,
How you swept me off my feet, unexpectedly.
In slow motion,
My imagination's running, trying to keep my body still,
I can hardly stand the thrill...

so please, i'm not LOOKING for LOVE NOW!!!

...Baby,
Take me on a journey.
I've been thinking lately,
I could use a little time alone with you.
Crazy,
Let's do something, maybe.
Please don't take your time,
You got me,
Right where you want me...

Labels: afterthoughts, gaah, God's LurvE, grown up, lost, love, lurve ones, not looking, sweet lurve, tears, what about maturity

- -A Couple's Heartbreak by Anonymous - -

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the apple of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for work so he asked the wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard. The mother, preoccupied in the kitchen, totally forgot the matter.

The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle and, fascinated with its color, drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed, the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband.

When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just four words.

What do you think were the four words?

The husband just said "I Love You Darling"

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he have taken time to keep the bottle away, this will not have happened. No
point in attaching blame. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

Sometimes we spend time asking who is responsible or who to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. We miss out some warmth in human relationship in giving each other support. After all, shouldn't forgiving someone we love be the easiest thing in the world to do? Treasure what you have. Don't multiply pain, anguish and suffering by holding on to forgiveness.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world.

Take off all your envies, jealousies, unwillingness to forgive, selfishness, and fears and you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

--------

at times, love's just all you need!

Labels: afterthoughts, God's LurvE, hugs and lurves, love, lurve ones

listening: Per Il Senteiro by LISA ONO
mood: erm, somewhere among the clouds...

>>i've realised many ppl have changed since school started. (I'M NOT GONNA GOSSIP HERE) what happened...? what have you guys did to yourself during the 3 weeks vacations...? friends that i know are preparing to leave our class, what the bl**dy f*ck HAPPENED?!<<

just went for church service this morning. i felt the sermon today is so suited for me.

Abraham - Winning When You Don't Understand God's Ways
at times, i'm really lost, the future seems clouded, no one seems to understand. it was because ppl have once and twice again make me disappointed, or simply, i have HIGH expectations of them... but God has actually showed me grace and mercy and everything else, even when i was tough to myself... Many things in our life we don't understand, but it does not hamper us from winning under God's strength. a journey of faith is long, i have come to realise, but it's actually part of God's Journey. it would seem to be like an eternity, but it's worth the wait.

waiting can cause you to be bitter or better, i agree. i am not that patient, now i'm doing my best to be more patient, cause not everyone is on the same level as me, you see. real understading is when you actually obey them. example wld be that you're forbidden/not allowed to date, you have to obey your parents, as it is what God has entrusted you to your parents, to bring you up as a child of God. don't hurt them any longer, for your heart will be hurt, one day too.

There's so much mythology about getting together, and there's none about staying together. And staying together is what's so hard.
- Meg Ryan

Labels: afterthoughts, God's LurvE, help, holiday, ITE, relationships

listening: What i've done - Linkin Park
mood: erm. pretty peachy, i guess...

bwahahaha...! i'm gonna WATCH HARRY POTTER and the ORDER of the PHONEIX this week!!!! lurve my DANIEL RADCLIFFE!!!!!! XD

i think i'm going to start to PANIC again, cause certain things are not really done yet... >,< gaah!!! tasukete kudasai~

just bought this book "I kiss dating goodbye" by josh harris. SERIOUSLY, i've gotta stop putting myself in such relationships, that does not seem to benefit either God or me... it's also about COMMITMENT. sheesh, people nowadays don't know what's the real meaning of commitment. gosh, we're just NAiVE, aren't we...? (yup, i'm also one of them...)

i just cut my hair, and i look damn BOYISH!!!!!! gaah, should have told the auntie to cut like my previous sunao hairstyle... damn... the auntie was kind of buay song, ever since i brought my namine wig for her to trim just 2 weeks back... sheesh, if you dun wan to cut, you cld have say so, i'll just find someone else to trim for me... just for a lil' trim, you bl**dy hell overcharge me lor... wah lao...

*sigh* school's gonna start soon, eh... and it's this coming monday~~~ no~~~~ i still want my holiday~~~~~ gimme~ gimme~ gimme~ gimme back my holiday~~~ ;,;

Labels: afterthoughts, boyish-looking, gimme, God's LurvE, holiday, ORDER, overcharge, panic

really... i've nt been an obedient child to God... He has been there for me for thick and thin... just went through e G12 conference, when Pastor Lawerence Khong's son, Daniel preached abt love, it just hit me... it hit me that i hv been nt been loving Him as much as i should be. dis conference had actually renewed the love i have for God in me.... i shD stop pushing him away...

Labels: God's LurvE