I miss you. *This picture was taken during one of our Class Annual Car Wash Drive.
You were my buddy, my closest friend way back when we were still a Year 1 student in the Higher NITEC of Hospitality Operations, in 2007.
You knew I had to change, and you were there to guide me through it, through the pain and hurt. Didn't you realised how much you had impacted me ever since...? :(
You were sad, and I was there for you. I was sad, and you did the same too.
We made stupid jokes and made a fool of ourselves, but we were still happy people.
You encouraged me all these while, though there was once we both lost our cool.
But slowly through the months, it seemed as if I, no it's we, have lost you along the way. Like as if you fell through the cracks when we didn't had our eyes on you.
My dearest buddy, Danial Triadi Yusof, I miss you, so does everyone from our class HA/HK.
I was hoping I could see you for the last time before everyone else's go their own ways. I was hoping we could all share our last laughter during the ceremony. I was hoping we would smile and wink at each other, with the mischevious sparkles in our eyes.
But apparently, it did not happened. You, my dear friend, you weren't there to witness it all.
It felt so odd, after that, like the story wasn't completed, a fullstop that went missing after the comma, the book without the cover.
I am beginning to feel the emptiness now, your presence.
I would really hope to talk to you soon, to catch up with you soon.
Your Sincerely The AWESOME JAWS* WHO MISSES HER BUDDY.
in a little while, we will all leave together, because tonight’s the night
Listening: Tell Her by Jesse Mccartney
Mood: Sad :(
I have rarely writen this much on my blog, I noticed after penning all this while having slight insomnia.
---
There are people I know who write truthfully about their feelings, yet others write about their life so vaguely, that you can’t even see the ripples in the water. I admire those who really write with their heart.
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There are people who will be part of your life because they have made an impact on you, there are others who might mean something to you now, but they won’t in the future.
They are people I used to think I know them until things happened, then I realised, they were actually blind all these while, like those blind rats/mice you used to sing about when you were still in nursery/kindergarten/primary school(s). They were so blind that they get so absorb with what they think will make them happy, isn’t it sad? After it is what they THINK that makes them happy.
Through these years, since secondary school, I learned to grow up without my so-called friends and the adults that I used to befriend when I was still in FCBC. They lie to you that they will ALWAYS be there for you, but in actual fact they leave without a trace, expecting you to pick up after them.
There was a group of friends whom I thought was really my friend due to an amount of time we knew each other, but things happened yet they do not want to open their eyes to see. We are all over already, I did what I can to care for you as a friend, as a sister, as a mother, as a lover, but you threw it aside, not me as simple as that.
I wouldn’t really say that it was a real sad time then, because I knew it was God’s test on me, on my patience, my sanity, my mind, my life.
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During the 4 years in HS, some teachers perish yet the others perserved. There were people whom I thought was my friend, but in actual fact they were a wolf in sheep’s clothing. People whom I’ve trusted and others whom I also gave up on. And slowly I grew up though I couldn’t see myself any longer, I was lost like them too.
There are things I need to work out on my own, like my loyalty to God, after what happened when I was in church. It was something I couldn’t really believe that would happened to me 3 times under the same network, that it depressed me for over a period of time.
Was it the Devil’s doing or was it God’s will that I leave this church?
I do hope it is the latter.
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‘O’ levels came and went, and I was finally an ITE student, doing my Higher NITEC in Hospitality Operations. It was sad though, as I was the only HS student in class/campus, the wound was still fresh and I was real paranoid.
There was a point I wanted to give up just like some other students who have left our class, but I told, or I shall say, rudely reminded myself,
“Amelia, don’t be stupid. There are people out there who are fighting for this place, and you’re just going to give up just like this?! Don’t be stupid, girl. You, yourself, said that this is what you are REALLY interested in and you said that you will prove certain people wrong about yourself. So you better not give up…!”
Slowly I got to know of people who love me and hate me.
There were people who were willing to be true, and there were others who weren’t as real as they think.
There were people who made and break me too.
We learned together, we worked together, we fought together.
Love was exchanged, battles were won and lost, friendship grew stronger and weaker in the meantime.
We spent 1 1/2 years together, irritating and loving everyone to the core, camwhoring like no one’s business, cheered like we have never been before.
Things I keep seeing in my mind when I close my eyes:
Michael’s class cheer, Maya as our Rihanna, Nelly’s ‘singing’, Weitin’s participation in World Skills making us so proud of her, Sunarti saying, “JAWS, shuddup lar.” with that cheeky grin on her face, the nasi padang I patronised everyday with kak Sue, Ahda as the very cheerful girl no matter what happens, huifen as my manga partner, kade who will always call me “Dewgong”, there are loads I couldn’t finish describing here without tearing up and crying like a baby.
I seriously miss the times we all have together. I never thought 1 1/2 years would go by so fast in just a blink of an eye.
To those people who laugh at me, and others who laugh with me all these while.
I love you.
HPO, you have made the impact that I can never imagined happening.
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Graduation day will be happening in 1 week’s time or so.
I get emotional when I think of it as our last time together as a class.
Tears will definitely cling on me as we hug each other for the last time before we all go our separate ways, some to school, some to work and others to NS.
It might be impossible, yet it might happened if we made the effort. Please, let us all stay in contact, via smses, phonecalls, blogging, facebook, and what we can get.
I won’t forget you guys.
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Note: I will leave this entry on my blog till the end of Graduation day.
Hope that you guys are doing well for the final week of attachment (though some have also ended theirs already).
It has been my honor to be in the same class as you guys for over the period of 1 1/2 years since April 2007. I am glad to know you guys too, especially the people whom I have worked with in major projects. There have been loads of happy & sad times that we had stuck together and we are still going strong. I missed the times we have all shared...!
I do hope to be in contact with you guys, be it over Facebook or email or even through sms/phonecalls. Please do not hesitate to drop me a call or sms.
If there’s any future class outing, do include me too.
I sincerely wish all the HK people all the best in your future academic/career path. We will cross path soon too.
meet up with my HPO peeps'. *JAWS miss YOU. DX **I dunnoe what will I do without you guys. ***everyone seem to be blogging about the same topic desuka...? DX ****JOO ISH EBIL, MAKING JAWS TEAR LIAOZ. *****COME BACK, JOO HPO PEEPS. BEFORE JAWS REALLY BITE... ;_;
Mood: EXCITED Listening: Kidnap My Heart by The Click 5
Guess what?!
I’ve just received a call from XXX, to head down for an interview this Monday! (For those who don’t know what I am talking about, too bad. XP)
I am so… So… So EXCITED!!! Immediately after the call, I gave a call to Ms Deon to inform her I ‘might’ get a place there! She said to go for it, and not hesitate to grab the place first.
After that, I called otou-san to tell him the good news. I was pretty worried too, cause we are left with very little time to get a place in the hotels. He said “Don’t worry, take it slow.” Daddy’s so sweet! XD
Later on, I sms-ed Ms Saadiah, Mr Francis and Ms Pauline. Ms Saadiah replied “Gd. Go for it.” But I still had some concerns and I told her I don’t have much confidence in convincing the HR personnel to take me as a trainee. She told me not to worry and she has confidence in me.
I also sms-ed ‘him’, cause just yesterday I was sms-ing him about my worries in the Industrial Attachment. He told me to “Jia You”.
Ms Pauline called me back at around 7pm, telling me that this would be a good place for my personality, and me as this place needs people who are versatile and positive. I did tell her my concerns, about how I felt not confident enough to convince the HR department. She assured me that I would be able to do so! She also continued saying that no matter what I am given to do, I will definitely do it. She believes in me, I guess so…
I’m going to do my BEST then!
God, give me the wisdom, so that during this interview I can ace it, and convince them to accept me as a trainee. And also give me the maturity to think through what I am going to answer during the interview, as this concerns my future as a fellow hotelier in the industry. I need confidence, bravery for this interview.
Gaah! I need my CONFIDENCE!!!
**Wanted to have a fashion photoshoot on Monday, but since got interview, hmm, I’ll postpone it to a later date…
listening: When You're Gone by AVRIL LAVIGNE mood: hmm. probably on cloud9.
i managed to 'OFFICIALLY' got to know him. pretty embarassing, though i had the help from my friends, esp Sue, Nirah'bella, Mariana, Danial, Prem and a couple more. thanks, guys. XD
... always needed time on my own I never thought I'd need you there when I cry And the days feel like years when I'm alone And the bed where you lie is made up on your side...
he reminded so much of a friend whom i've known a very long time back, probably 3 to 4 years ago. i regretted losing that friendship with that friend, due to some family issues, really regretted it.
we took the same bus together back, as we were living quite near, and started chatting. well, he's nice...
...I've never felt this way before Everything that I do reminds me of you And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now...
he actually asked what if he didn't want to be in relationship, how would i feel. so i replied, "do you want the truth or you want the lies?" he laughed, wanting the truth. i replied back... "well, i would be disppointed, no doubt. but i'll just take it that i've gained a good friend...!"
shh, he's a wonderful guy, that's what i can say, though i would secretly pray that something good will happen from now on...
Cute and sweet, and most gentle of all uke. Whips and chains are not for you - you just want someone to love you. You are often spotted in candy shops wearing furry kitty ears, where you are sure to be noticed by the Romantic Seme whose protective instincts will kick in and will only want to take you home and love and protect you. And you of course will be more than happy to spend the rest of your life baking cookies for your seme. Now you can get pins of your result here.
ara, ara. suki.luna's an INNOCENT UKE...! XD
finoa>> lurve euu lots.
...All I ever wanted was for you to know Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul...
watching: diana - last day of a princess mood: real DISSAPOINTED.
gaah. was on the phone with qinying just now. was talking to her about a costume request that happened a few months back. well, i actually commisioned SOMEONE, i'll call the person 'rose' in this case. i wanted 'rose' to do a 'unknown' dress for me. and rose did. but you know...? it was SECOND-HAND!!!! rose could have told me in the first place...! and 'rose' also promised me to do another pants for free...! but now, i haven't got any... >,< just so dissapointed with 'rose'...
my class got assigned to do an extra credit project wor... problem, is there are not much information about the people we are supposed to search for... >,< aiyo. must work harder ne...
listening: sexyback by justin timberlake mood: relieved...
yes!!!! i'm finally done with my oral's...!!!!! hahaX. the passage, picture discussion and conversation was mainly about the environment ne...! whoa...! it was pretty easy during the conversation but not during the picture discussion. i'll simply fLUNK the picture discussion ar... i basically just sat there, crapping about i-don't-know-what-the-heck-i'm-talking about, even the examiners kind of like blur too... argh... >,<
>>i'm over you already. please stop reminding me about what we did that day. it was a STUPID mistake on my part. i'm going to move on with my life. please do so on your part. thank you.<<
currently 'm reading/going ga-ga over this 2 fanfics, "the marriage stone" by josephine darcy and "will you please stay with me?" by XmissfreestyleX. harry +severus pairing are cute, okay... XD
gosh. he knows my name already... argh... why the f*ck didn't i hit my head against the wall after the service conference last week...? why did i not do that...!!!! *growl* i'll kill someone later than...
teacher's day is coming soon... *sigh* what should i get them....? roses...? cups...? books...? pens...? anymore ideas....? gaah... i'm on a bl**Dy f*cking bUDGET....!!!!!!
listening: thanks for the memories - fall out boy mood: *grins*
we're finally done with the service conference...!!! imagine you have to sing the "hero" song by mariah carey almost everyday, whoa, if you ain't sick of it, i am...!!! i actually replaced kushpu (correct spelling?) as the mini emcee, to be truthful, i feel kind of guilty... >,< real DAMN guilty, though she assured me/said it was alright...
...I'm gonna make you bend and break (It sent you to me without wings) Say a prayer but let the good times roll In case God doesn't show (Let the good times roll, let the good times roll) And I want these words to make things right But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life "Who does he think he is?" If that's the worst you got Better put your fingers back to the keys...
but everyone enjoyed it...! the audiences were impressed with us...! even poly lecturers...! oh my...! and i saw azizu! he's actually in CEMTA dance group. what a surprise, after not seeing him for almost 2 years! even my classmates were shcok to see such a dancer...! hahaX. when it ended, me and princess (ancherle~) were like screaming for food, as there was a buffet outside...! food! food! hahaX. we were like hungry ghost liddat.... XD
...One night and one more time Thanks for the memories even though they weren't so great "He tastes like you only sweeter" One night, yeah, and one more time Thanks for the memories, thanks for the memories "He, he tastes like you only sweeter"...
watched the "king and i" yesterday! wow! superb! my mum got the ticket for free from negara on claymore hotel, because the company that she works for, kept giving the hotel customers, so to thank the company, or rather, thank my mum and the rest of their loyal customers, they decided to sponsor them tickets to the "king and i" play at the ESPLANADE theatre...! and i saw timothy go from CNA!!!! i felt like a country bumpkin there though, cause i wasn't really in those evenig gowns, high heels (i walk like ET in those bl**dy eff-ing shoes..) or look that freaking presentable... gosh... felt so out of place there... >,< gaah~
in total i rate the "king and i", 3.5 stars over 5 stars. well, as you know they actually had the movie screened on tV before, so i pretty much expected slightly more from the play. but what was pretty cool was the scene where the princess (the gift from burma) was reciting about the story of a women who escaped from her master, becuase she wanted to return back to her family and her lover/boyfriend. the king was pretty hilarious at times, especially when he says something and he goes, "...etc, etc, etc..". the audiences were laughing of their seats...! hahaX.
...They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers In hotel rooms collecting page six lovers Get me out of my mind and get you out of those clothes I'm a liner away from getting you into the mood, whoa...
well, this week was an eventful week...! XD rest well, minna-san!
ara, ara... suki.luna been a bad girl lately. have been giving people a lot attitude problem liao. gomen. >,<
to weitin... "Fourthly to AMELIA: alwayz take sweet frm her...jus lky wat i alwayz do in sec sch life...a happi go lucky person n sometime wont show her emo...a coz player...n tis was my first time havin a coz player frend"
eek!!! just saw what you wrote to me! >,< maybe it's true that i hide my feelings, cause i don't like hurting people with me emotions. i probably grew up like this, hahaX... (and i'm still laughing...) lurve u loTS...
to dolly... hahaX... got to know you on my first week along with weitin...! X3 hahaX... very jovial... laughter is as infectious as weitin de... huggies u lots...
to amanda... amanda~~~ i wanna hump eeuuu~~~~ hahaX... got to know since the first day of class...!!!!! somehow i can see something in you, that's like me in the past... gaaahhh.... what the heck with my spellings errors... >,<
to danial... ama kiss you!!! hahaX... you're really a very nice guy, you make me feel special in a way that i couldn't really describe! you're just like a lil' brother to me...!!!
to jiayong, a.k.a. jiamin/jiejie... jiejie, suki.luna think you very de humourous de....!!! though you seem slightly tao the first day you're in our HA class!!! X3 hahaX... i'll always remember you as jiejie de, no worries...!!!!
to huifen... hmmm... you're like a meimei, i thought you're actually my age...!!!! gaaahhh~~~ also enjoys YAOI manga like me...!!!! heheX... shares YAOI mangas with euuu lots....
to 'HA... really, i thank God for placing me in this class & this course. though we were not that comfortable with each others at first, but guess what...? we're now like a FAMILY! huggies for everyone!!! muacks~
Whoa… it’s been how many days since I’ve updated my blog…? 22th april minus 8th of april = almost 2 wks le… argh… been busy ar… >,<
I’ve jus started school in ITE, taking a course in Higher Nitec in Hospitailty Operations. HahaX… Yup, I do have the mind to work in the hotel industry, who knows I might get a chance to work in the IR…? X3 managed to make frens too…!!!!! HahaX… Hmm… basically for the rest of dis year, I’m not really going to have a social life ar… cause everyday gt class till ard 5, den stil gotta rush down to bishan area for night class… *sigh* yup, my social life for the year is jus ka-boom, GONE. Sh*T.
Danial>> I don’t think I’m that of a strong person. I get angry easily. I misunderstood people easil too. Yes, it’s true that I’m from a single-parent family and I’m pretty CRAZY at times, but I don’t really believe that I’m strong.
Oh my gAWD… bou is leaving Antique Café le… okay, okay, I know I’m not a OSHARE type of fan, I jus find BOU BLOODY CUTE. Well, all good things will have to come to an end, but its for the better. X3 GANBATTE BOU-chAN!!!! Rarara~~
suki.luna/jaws/AMELIA
